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Exploding the Limitations to Overflowing Joy

Stand, move in and absorb the flow. Move with it. Don't fight to create Your way. Don't rush ahead of it. Don't stand paralysed in fear. Teh practice is to connect deeply with yourself in the moment now. Notice any agitation. Where is it in your body, what does it feel like in there.

 

Deep dive into that feeling and breathe into it (deep anchor ACT).

 

Imagine being able to just let that feeling go.

 

Does it come from wanting security, approval or control (Sedona Method).

Experiential Avoidance

"I don't want to". The dread of approaching people that I don't know creates a feeling of awkward anxiety as I anticipate being unable to keep a relaxed conversation flowing. This results in the urge to avoid them - not look them in they eye, not say their name or just completely avoid the approach. So instead of beuilding relationships and connection, I avoid it. Anxiety relieved. Momentarily. But of course the relationship with this particular person never grows, never gets easier, because their is no connection and information sharing being built. Nothing to draw on next time.

Instead, I have now committed to approaching rather than avoiding despite these feelings. The awkward anxious feeling does not mean anything about how I will actually go connecting. It is just a yucky feeling in the pit of my tummy. It makes me feel "off centre" and a little flighty. It makes me crack jokes rather than hold a sincere conversation. So instead now I focus on noticing the feelings of nervousness, breathing into them and resisting the urge to race full steam ahead into humour and deflection.

One of the best things I read recently was to "aim for connection not impression". Connection means asking with curiosity about the person. Take the focus off the self and onto connecting with the human in front of me. I do not need to impress them in any way. I do not need to get them to like me. I do not need to be interesting, or funny, or intelligent or smart. Or the kindest person they know. They do not need to walk away gushing about me. Just a small momentary building of connection. Maybe we will hit it off. Or maybe not. Maybe this will be a wonderful new person in my life. Or maybe we will have nothing in common or be on a different page in life. It doesn't matter. Because it life is not a popularity contest. Its not the most popular people who are the happiest, rather than one with people in their lives they love, who are know they are loved in return, and who enjoy regular connection with like minded humans. 

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